Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
