Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
