My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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