Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You are the jesus of drinking
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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