i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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