You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
