If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
