I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
