He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Randomize
