Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
