I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
