dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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