can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
