I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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