I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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