oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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