Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
