Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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