in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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