Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
