I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
