whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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