Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
