i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
