I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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