he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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