2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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