do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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