well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
