My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
