Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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