Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
