Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
