garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Randomize
