I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
