Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
