I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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