I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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