It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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