my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
