Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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