You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
