I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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