it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
