puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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