some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
