i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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