Already got asked if we're dating
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
