Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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