if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
