you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
