Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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