You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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