I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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